Mission: Untoppable?

Just when I think that writing one of these romantic suspense novels will be the funnest and fastest way to pay off my student loans, the bar on what makes a good trashy novel inches a little higher. Last night I read Mission: Irresistible (same author as License to Thrill) which contained the line: “Oh, she was an unrepentant slut puppy!” This was in addition to the ancient Minoan Order the heroine was investigating, whose language has been lost to scholars for years and its closest translation (in an extinct Cretan dialogue, of course) is Wannamakemecomealot. Dare I try to top that?