Thursday, May 24, 2007

The term of the ends.

Things keep ending. Or, rather, I keep ending things (to make it clear that I'm for once not talking about Veronica Mars). “Good reasons” rings hollow to me right now. Determining the difference between loss and turning points is a matter of time and perspective, but in both of the situations to which I'm alluding it feels like loss. I’d began an earlier version of this post with some ballyhoo about feminism, being a feminist, needing a “Living Feminism for Dummies” handbook, etcetera, by couching things in such terms I was distancing and hiding myself behind theory – pretending these to be merely theoretical conundrums rather than felt (and felt keenly, painfully, confusingly) experiences. If it’s theory, then there are rules and logic and principles, leading to inevitable and inarguably right answers. But when it’s felt, it’s not that simple – it’s a confluence of emotions that tug at me in different, equally powerful ways. What I want versus what I want; what I need versus what I need. No inevitable and inarguably right answers exist here, just a scale that’s constantly shifting. I am at the same time both convinced and profoundly unsure of these endings. And it hurts.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Tara said...

hey there stranger-I guess we have a lot to catch up on eh? will try to call you soon-lots of love and I totally realized how inappropriate it is to litter your blog with this comment making no reference to the entry...too bad am posting it anyway

10:11 AM  
Blogger andrea said...

Yes, well, not all of us were wandering around crumbling Austrian castles - I had to make my own fun here :)

10:19 AM  

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